Aluminium counselling receives many people every day who have a common problem: emotional dependence.
Psychological counselling receives many people every day who have a common problem: emotional dependence.
This image can be observed when the person suffering from it is still under a lot of pressure towards their vulnerable partner because there is a great need to maintain the emotional connection and affection.
Emotionally dependent: what is it?
As with other dependencies, such as drug addiction, emotional dependence works through positive reinforcement, creating psychological dependence on the substance. Emotional addiction affects women and men equally.
However, men tend to hide this problem because they feel less able to admit “emotionally connected” to another person. Because of the shame of describing the problem, some men are more severely dependent.
Who suffers from emotional dependence?
Although this condition can often be temporary, the pattern of emotional dependence on the subject is most often seen throughout his life and with different spouses. This emotional dependence does not refer to material reasons (such as economic dependence). Still, it relates to the need for love and a loving relationship. People who suffer from it fear being alone and cannot imagine their life if it is not next to an emotional partner.
Significantly, many of those emotionally addicted seek out partners with a dominant character, with a psychological profile that is prone to selfishness and drugs, possessiveness, authoritarianism and depravity. In some cases, it’s emotionally dependent on having experienced some form of physical or psychological abuse on the part of the spouse, which is not strange considering the profile we have discussed. Supported people tend to idealize their spouses and live in a particular submission.
The affected person can recognize the abuse and contempt they experience daily. Still, they do not have the means to stop being “hooked” on their partner. He asks forgiveness, even for things they have not done, to be sensitive and submissive to his spouse, to win their consent and love. They can also spend a lot of money on gifts. In general, they will maintain attention and gestures to keep the couple happy and satisfy them all the time.
Usually, the background of the dependency problem is to be found in low self-esteem, which makes one emotionally addicted to self-destructively. They are critical of themselves and their way to be inferior and even guilty of the contempt they may receive from their romantic partner. Over time, the situation becomes even more unsustainable as the relationship increases the subordinate relationship emotionally dependent on its partner, who exercises a dominant role.
In this way, the contempt of the person in charge increases the emotional dependence and brings the subordinate to the extreme. It is also common to observe that such relationships break out in a short period, but this does not solve the problem. The clerk will try to come back a thousand times with his ex-partner in the same way the drug user manages to get the substance and consume it again. This power leads to situations in a vicious circle where disrespect prevails and diminishes self-esteem and the dignity of an emotionally dependent person. A person suffering from this type of emotional dependence needs to be in a relationship with their partner. If the connection is completely severed, it is a kind of emotional withdrawal syndrome.
Stop with friends and family.
In these cases, angry confrontations with friends and family. An emotional addict realizes that his relatives are trying to advise him that his psychological position in the relationship is not the most suitable, but he insists on defending his relationship. Although relatives see well that the suffering caused by this pathological relationship does not stop, the mockery usually faces them. It will protect the situation, reaching out to demand special treatment from close relatives.
The co-occurrence of emotional dependence is related to anxiety or depression and the lack of self-esteem we have already commented on, which increases with the awareness that it is time to restore the love of someone who not only loves but despises and abuses him.
In this table, it is widespread to observe that the addicted person firmly believes that his partner is superior and therefore deserves that everyone around him acknowledges this and fill him with praise and respect. It can lead to a breakup in friends and family, which causes their emotional dependence to be strengthened as they will only find support in their partner. As we can see, this is another movement where a vicious circle has entered.
The affected person may go so far as to deviate from their responsibilities at work to have the time needed to meet the spouse’s needs. Family, work, social and psychological impairment can be a source of concern.
If a dependent person has children, it is common for their children to have behaviours and attitudes of contempt towards themselves. They learn to look down on someone who shows neither power nor dignity. There are also usually signs of children’s deteriorating relationship with the custodial parent. They tend to be selfish and outgoing people who do not express too much love or care for their children.
Psychotherapy: address the problem
It is necessary to start psychotherapy quickly to get rid of the partner emotionally. Failure to do so and continuing in harmful activity can have catastrophic consequences. It is not uncommon for contempt to shift from hate to psychological violence and even physical violence in the last term; it is essential to start psychotherapy early, even though it is challenging to implement.
As indifferent addictions, the first step is for the person concerned to acknowledge that you have a problem and decide to find a way to fix it. This point is challenging: the clerk will find many excuses and justifications for his behaviour. They tend to be of the type: “You do not know him/her well”, “He loves me very much”, “No one is perfect”, “The flaw is also mine” … It is almost impossible to let treatment work which the person in question has not demanded, and as with other addictions, then it becomes a necessary offence with a partner.
Do you know someone who is emotionally addicted?
The best tips to give those who have a family member or friend an emotional dependency are:
. Never give in to the requirement to maintain spectacular treatment for the dominant individual.
. It would help those dependent but do not show yourself an accomplice in their unhealthy relationship.
. You can talk to the person and let them know that they can trust you and your family.
. Suppose you finally decide to ask for help, To break out of a situation. In that case, it is necessary to welcome him and prevent communication with the couple.
. It is also a good idea to follow him in treatment. The psychologist will help find the best way for the person in question and give family and friends some guidance to turn the situation around, as well as some advice regarding specific doubts.